Michael, where are you going to?

I'm going to sit here on the loo.

I'll even bring my camera crew

So I can talk about it to you.

Crapping at my age is not too fun

I get frequent gas and painful runs

But I guess I have an audience who

Like to watch me do number 2.

So here i sit on the porcelain throne

I gasp and strain and grunt and groan

But I love all the letters I get back

from women admiring my butt crack.

Note: this is not meant to offend Mike in any way, just having a bit of fun.

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