Pythonland
Rating: PG-13
Subjects: Monty Python,
humor
Summary: After completing their tour of
Disclaimer: I'm not making any money off of this. The Pythons do not belong to me, they belong
to themselves. The same goes for anyone
associated with
A/N: This fic is VERY
LOOSELY based on fact. The Pythons did
apparently visit
*********
Part 1
"We're going
WHERE??" John raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Did you say '
John Gledhill, the Pythons'
personal manager, stood in the middle of the hotel lobby with his arms folded
and nodded.
"That's right,
boys," he grinned.
Michael Palin and Terry
Jones exchanged confused looks.
"But don't thank
me. It's a little gift from the good
folks at The Midnight Special," Mr. Gledhill continued, waving seven
passes to
"Well. Pardon my asking, Johnny Boy," Cleese began, a bit annoyed. "But....what
for??"
Mr. Gledhill raised his
eyebrows as if he were taken aback by the question. "Well, obviously they were so impressed
with the outstanding job you had done on the show last night, and wanted to
show their appreciation!"
Eric cocked his head to the
side and raised an eyebrow. "'Outstanding job.'
They really said that, eh?"
Their manager nervously
shifted his weight and looked back up at Eric.
"Well...no, I am paraphrasing, but..."
Eric nodded and grinned
sarcastically.
"Well, anyway, these
passes are good for two whole days. It's
a big place, so that should give us enough time to explore it all."
The six Pythons did nothing
but stare at him.
Gledhill looked down at his
watch and sighed. "Well, I've got a
few phone calls to make before I turn in."
He looked back up and gave
them a quick smile.
"Well. 'Night, boys. See you tomorrow morning at
"Nighty-night," Michael said
dryly as he waved weakly to the manager who left the lobby and was headed over
toward the elevators.
As soon as he was gone, the
Pythons exchanged disgusted looks.
"That should give 'US'
enough time to explore it all?" Jonesy asked
incredulously.
"Don't tell me he's
coming with us," Gilliam said, eyes narrowed.
Graham walked over to the
table where they had all been sitting before, and noticed that Gledhill had
left the
"Thought there had to
be a reason why there's seven tickets instead of six," he said quietly.
The other Pythons groaned.
"Christ, that bloke is
annoying," Mike said wearily, shaking his head.
"Tell me about
it," Graham sighed. "Do you
know how it feels to have a man like him on your neck day after day, asking you
to cut down on the gin?"
The others looked at him
but said nothing.
"Personally, I'd love
to know what his obsession is with tearing hotel rooms apart. I don't know about you lot, but I'm perfectly
content with peeling off tiny bits of wallpaper near my bed," Mike
giggled.
"I broke my toothbrush
in half," Jonesy added proudly.
They all looked at each
other and began to laugh.
"Hey, you know, just
this morning I turned my chair upside down," John declared.
"Oooo,
you don't say, John!" Eric said, his eyes widened
with mock surprise. "Your wicked,
squire, wicked!" He nudged John, as per his Nudge Nudge,
Wink Wink sketch.
The others laughed.
"So, what about you,
Idle? What have you done to your hotel
room?" John grinned as the others turned their glance over to Eric.
Eric turned his eyes
upward. "Well, last night I...rang
up the front desk and asked if the refrigerator was running!"
"Oooo, get away!" Mike exclaimed in his camp "Poofy
Judge" tone.
Eric nodded and
grinned. "Yup, I did me 'crank
calling' bit," he replied in the same camp voice.
Michael grinned back. "Well, this morning when I walked past
the maid's cart I stole a bar of soap from the bin," he continued in the
camp voice. "Just one small bar of
soap, but it was a stunning effect. I
could see that hotel manager eyeing me, cheeky devil."
The other Pythons broke out
in giggles as Mike and Eric exchanged amused looks.
Suddenly they turned and
noticed a few other hotel guests, staring at them curiously.
"Um, well, I suppose
we better turn in before we say anymore and get thrown out of here,"
Michael said quietly, gesturing toward the elevators. Gilliam grinned amusedly as he noticed Mike
blushing furiously.
*********************************************************
"I still can't believe
that Gleddy's coming with us," John grumbled as
they made their way into the elevator.
"Yeah, what is he
supposed to be, our chaperone?" Gilliam smirked.
Michael rolled his eyes and
shook his head. "Seems like it,
doesn't it," he said grimly.
"Maybe he'll get stuck
up on the
Graham looked back down at
the passes. "Or maybe we can say
that his ticket 'mysteriously disappeared'," he offered.
Mike chuckled. "Oh, if only. But if we threw his ticket in the rubbish bin
he'd either jump head-first in there looking for it, or he'd bother those
lovely Midnight Special people about it."
"We really need to
find a new manager," Eric said seriously with a deadpan stare. The others giggled.
"One thing still
bothers me," John interjected.
"What would possess those people to give us free tickets to this
place?"
"Um...John, I believe
it's called courtesy," Michael answered, raising his eyebrows.
"You'll have to try
harder, Mike," Jonesy smirked. "John crossed 'courtesy' out of his
dictionary long ago."
Everyone laughed except for
John, whose face grew bright red.
"Well, let's try to
forget that now," Michael answered, easing up on the giggles. "We've never been to this place
before. Who knows, it might actually be
fun," he said brightly.
John looked at him in the
eyes. "'Fun'?? Oh yes, Mike, let's meet a few sappy cartoon
characters and puke ourselves silly on dizzying rides. Good show," he said sarcastically.
Finally the elevator door
opened, and the Pythons went their separate ways down the corridor of the
hotel.
***************************************************
"Damn, I thought that
lift would never open," Michael grumbled as he made his way down towards
his room.
Eric giggled. "I hear ya, Mike. It's awfully good to get away from John,
isn't it?"
"I'll say," Mike
grinned.
"I'm starting to wish
he'd gone back to
"I dunno,
it might actually be worth it to see John throwing up all over the place on
some of those rides," Gilliam giggled.
Eric joined in. "You know, he did mention something
about puking on dizzying rides. We'll
have to search the place for such rides and make sure he gets on them."
"And make sure we get
a few good photographs of it!" Michael laughed as he dug his hotel room
key out of his pocket.
Eric, Jonesy
and Gilliam laughed.
"Goodnight,
Mike!" Jonesy
called out as Eric and Gilliam waved.
"'Night, guys,"
Michael called back as they continued down the hall.
He entered his room and
threw his jacket down over the chair in front of the dressing table. After a quick shower, he got into his pyjamas and settled into bed. He began to read, but couldn't stop thinking
about what they were going to do tomorrow.
He had never been to
****************************************
Part 2 coming soon.